For a Defense of the English Language! Say No to Work-Withs! Here in the wine industry, we wine suppliers are often scheduled to work with salespeople from our distributors. We go out in their cars with lots of samples, visit restaurant owners and retailers, and sell huge quantities of wine. We wine professionals call these appointments work-withs. In reality, there is no such term in the English language. In fact, a work-with is a dangling preposition. Please, can we come up with a new term? A kinder, gentler, grammatical way of describing the beautiful, bonding experience of forcing clients into buying wine. Then again, as much as I am against the dangling prepopsition, lets keep sentence fragments alive and well. I love them. The winning entry will receive a complimentary bottle of Caligrame Janières, our latest cult wine, if it is legal to ship from New York City to the State where the winner resides. Employees of LDM Wines and their immediate family members are not eligible to win this prize.
I thought these were ride-withs. But the English language has a rich history of compound noun-prepositions: shutdown, startup, castoff, shutin .... It's time to lose the hyphen: workwith! Look out, Webster's lookout!
I'm sorry. That won't do.
How does client conforming sound?
Picky, picky. How about "marvin"?
how about "a sandwich job"?
Marvin isn't bad....
we returned tuesday night sir.
Hey, do you still have my Vin Jaune?
schnook-a-long ??
how about go-sees? it works for models
What do the models go-see?
photographers
Did I have a go-see with my dentist today?
synergo-oenophilia
Ian:
Someone on the Louis/Dressner payroll told me she liked marvin, but suggested a shanky.
Shanky is just odd. You're grasping at straws!
sir, having failed with "sandwich job" i will advance the term "shriveling".
I'm tending toward marvin, myself.
marvin gives me the creeps.
Any other ideas then?
i don't know sir. the shanky sounds like a dance. "hey let's do the shanky"! suppose someone had a large nez and they started to do the shanky. they might start knocking people over.
Might I suggest Rebus? (Or Reebus.) How about Weebus?
The problem with all these "work-with" alternatives is that they have to make sense to everyone in the wine industry. I'm bucking for universal usage and acceptance.
personally, I'd rather do a "shanky" than a "marvin". I'm with the sheriff, a "marvin" just is too creepy.
wait a minute, wait a minute. marvin? shanky? i get it. sounds ezackly like that guy who tips off that retailer just before he writes up wines with big scores.
why not just call it what it is:
Why not just call it what it is: a double team.
See how effective it is to hear the same thing twice in a row?!
call it a zacherly after that gruesome chap that would show the ghoul films on saturdays. had the ameba named phyliss that did the phyliss slide. after all what could be more gruesome than a supplier and a salesman?
And you thought marvin was creepy?
a tag along, as an impediment to one's day? sounds about right. my shanky was as effective as the tagalong today.
well, back to the mines. Figured my last idea might help Polaner sell Greek wines too..... here is an off the cuff back up:
bicker. you will be bickering with mr.dresser next week.
How about a work over?
well sir, that's quite a few suggestions. you should now award the prize.
How about a showing? I love gerunds!
let's get shaking!
i think the sheriff should arrest mr. webster for his unholy relationship with gerunds.
I think the sheriff should arrest that Whig Mr. Webster, for impersonating a lexicographer. Harrumph!
i best check my funk and wagnalls.
I like Marvin, Scott I also like corker but what about Limulus(a scary creature which is very kind in fact...an very usefull for the human being...).Oh, by the way, Joe, we need to set up a limuling appointment for the end of the month.That Limulus day should be fun!
I'm placing the sheriff under Random House arrest!
well toss a couple of gerunds in there so i can have some fun.
Take three, they're small.
i really don't know if i should take three. mr. dresser said he wanted a couple.
Mr. Dresser and you are in luck, as I have a warehouse full of gerunds, participles and infinitives and I am feeling generous. Call me on my cellophane, er, cell phone.
would it be possible to split an order of infinitives?
Yes, it is possible, under the condition that you agree not to dangle any participles.
those were the guys that followed around jesus, right?
Yes, and they got Michael Jackson into a lot of trouble as well.
Can someone help me, I've misplaced my modifier?
Something simple like; Top drawer, retail store, shop floor, price war, no score, esprit de corps whore and pour.
mr. dresser, i think we're getting to the end of the line on this one.
I agree.
will do sir. gerunds, oi vey!
I like the term "trunk-stuffer." I understand loading up trunks is crucial to the wine biz.
late guest you're under arrest!
Where do I report to?
dangling prepositions are not helping your case. now move it! you're sentenced to 2 days community service in mayor bloomberg's office.
How about paying me a house call, you big ole lug? I hear you been in my hood, and I didn't get marvin'd, shanky'd, or even work-with'ed. GGRRRRRRR Hint...I'm open till midnight down the street from that big ole Alsacian guy's hangout.
OK. One last one I couldn't resist...bottle scootin'. |