dPlatypus -- Platypus Pete Now Comes in a Tube!
For Immediate Release:
Platypus Pete, the new wine that is sweeping America, is now available in a 3.2 Liter Tube called DPlatypus.
"It's all about accessibility," said Eddie Wrinkerman, the Platypus Pete Brand Manager at wine importer Louis/Dressner Selections. "First we get rid of the corks, then we get rid of the bottles and eventually we'll even get rid of the glasses and the consumer can go straight to the spigot," the 32-year-old Wrinkerman added.
Platypus Pete, the Patron Saint of the Pineau d'Aunis
"This is a wine for my generation, with none of the fuss and bother of old-fashioned bottled wine," Wrinkerman said. The name, "DPlatypus" is a wink at hip-hop and a whole new generation of "connected, cool and hip wine drinkers," according to Wrinkerman.
The French red wine, which comes form the Loire Valley and is made from Pineau d'Aunis grapes, comes in a cardboard cylinder that contains a 3.2 liter collapsible bag. A bit shorter than a 750ml bottle and only a tiny bit larger in volume, the cylinder can pour wine standing or lying on its side. The suggested retail price is $34.99, which amounts to less than $10 per bottle. Mr. Wrinkerman said that his firm chose 3.2 rather than 3 litres to give the American consumer "more bang for their buck."
"The idea is to package not only wine, but to make a strident statement," said Wrinkerman. "It's great Pineau d'Aunis, although no one knows exactly where it comes from, that uses great technology which allows you to keep it in your fridge for a couple of months and still drink the wine whenever you feel like it." Mr. Wrinkerman drinks a glass of DPlatypus daily and says it keeps him remarkably fresh, young and vibrant.
While storing red wine in a refrigerator is controversial, Mr. Wrinkerman argued that a bit of coolness brings out the peppery quality of Pineau d'Aunis. At the same time, he recommended storing the dPlatypus Tube on the bottom shelfing of the fridge.
Projected tube sales for the introductory period range to 10,000 cases nationally. "The consumer is very open to the concept and we're having an amazing impact," said Mr. Wrinkerman. "Plus, we all hope to rake in a ton of money pushing a wine that costs us next to nothing, putting it into a fancy package, and making large profit margins," he added.
Will they be pouring Dplatypus at the bar of any famous NYC restaurants?
No
Hey, this sounds great. As an advocate of box and bags this looks like something I'd be interested in purchasing for Daniel. Where do I sign up?
I'll send you 12 tubes.
And please don't ask for a free tube on 12. We have always abided by the law, even before Attorney General Spitzer started cracking down on the wine trade, and we don't make special deals with anyone.
Not that you asked.
I like tubes
Totally tubular!
i will be spending thensgiving in the country.
Interestingly, Gerard Depardieu is in Montréal today to sell his newly released wine, "Playptus", a Touraine Pineau d'Aunis. I don't know how big his tubes are, but La Première Chaine de Radio-Canada were awe-struck.
Great blog, Joe.
Are you Ira's kid brother?
Who are you anonymous?
ira's kid brother! ha ha ha. i like that.
"Who are you anonymous?"
Just a very old friend who stumbled on your blog and began to think that there could not possibly be 2 Joe Dressners in the world with the same sense of humor.
Still, it is amazing to me, in retrospect, what a well formed personality you must have had, way back when, that I read you today and I am transported back to a lifetime I had forgotten. Consistency over the decades is no small accomplishment.
But maybe I am wrong, and you are some other Joe Dressner.
My God! It's Stuart Mucamal!
oh yes my cousin mu camel.