The Wine Importer Back in New York City! I will be pouring 2000 Red Burgundies today at a schnook-centered event at the Beacon Restaurant. All members of the wine trade are invited to this important tasting. Don't miss it! The idea of this event is that nobody wants to buy Burgundies unless a significant amount of them are pre-sold. Can you blame the importers and wholesalers of America? So we will be testing restaurant and retail interest before ordering vast quantities of Burgundies that will collect dust in a warehouse. A questionnaire will be handed out to all tasting participants and their responses will determine the eventual orders. The event is sponsored by Douglas Polaner Selections, our main wholesaler in New York City. Other celebrity wine importers will include my good friend Peter Weygandt and Peter Wasserman. Peter Finkelstein, of World Shippers, will not be pouring wine as Peter Polaner Selections does not do business with World Shippers and all of Peter Finkelstein's 2000 Red Burgundies are already pre-sold. Peter Wasserman is the son of celebrity wine broker Becky Wasserman, who lives in Burgundy, and Peter himself works for celebrity importer Mark Whitmore. This makes Peter a double-celebrity. Peter Weygandt, in addition to his high-scoring Australian Wines portfolio, also has a full and distinguished line of French wines, with some outstanding Burgundies. Peter Nolis of Garnet Wines and Liquor might be attending, although he is not the Burgundy buyer at Garnet. Whatever happened to my friend Peter Aaronson, the former member of the Niagra Liberation Front (NLF) during the late 1960s at the University of Buffalo? Does he too have a stunning Burgundy Portfolio? The Wine Importer is very tired so I will be terse with you if you attend today's event. I just got back from schnooking around the Chicago wine scene. That scene is so demented that retailers lure employees at competitor retailers to become moles, right out of a John LeCarré novel! Several years ago, some schnook working at one of the big chains was actually enticed into letting the chain's competitor know all the pricing for upcoming advertisements on various branded wines like Kendall-Jackson Chardonnay and Domaine de Pouy Côte de Gascogne. In return, the mole received a double salary. This espionage allowed the competing chain to undercut the pricing of Kendall-Jackson by one dollar a bottle in newspaper advertistements, leading to millions of dollars of captured sales. Finally, the mole was caught by the George Smiley of the Chicago wine trade, lawsuits ensued, the mole was fired and finally received retail-schnook-salesman-refuge at one of Chicago's leading stores (following an extensive debriefing in suburban Skokie). All this leads one to ask what sort of demented people could be behind such crazy activity? One good thing about my trip to Chicago is the head of my wholesale company told me that until recently he had mistaken me for Russell Hermann. He thought I was yet another schnook with yet another stunning portfolio of outstanding producers that no wholesaler in their right mind really needs. Prior to my visit to complain about poor sales in Chicago, the wholesaler's director looked at our corporate web site and this web site. He now realizes how we have a special perspective on selling only hand-harvested, non-yeasted, non-enzymed, non-hormonized wines. We are iconoclasts, he told me, and he loves marketing iconoclasts. We expect sales to rise expotentially in Chicago over the next six months, a market which appears to have no lack of iconoclasts. By the way, 8 out of 10 restaurants in Chicago are owned by a chain called Let Me Entertain You. Please call me on my cell phone to confirm you attendence at today's New York Burgundy Tasting.
howdy mr. dresser! got a great question for you. in the schoolyard game "alley galley" when you capture an opponent do you say "alley galley you're my man 1-2-3" or ally gally 1-2-3 you're my man". also i believe that in reflection of political correctness it should be changed to "you're my person".
I have never played this game. I have no idea. Is it a game played in SUVs? As I pointed out elsewhere, I ride a bicycle and am unfamiliar with car culture.
well sir, as long as you abide by the local speed limits i say have fun! i wonder how the good folks in seattle would pronounce peugeot?
Poogit.
they're the salt of the earth, sir.
You should think again about the Bentley, as it better befits your stature in the wine trade.
Does Bentley make a station wagon?
Go for the stretch. |