joe dressner

My name is Joe Dressner and I'm The Wine Importer of many French, an increasing number of Italian wines and a Port. I am part of a company, Louis/Dressner Selections, which tries to find interesting and often unusual wines that express the terroir the wines come from and the talent and hard work of the winemakers. This site is my personal spot and has no relation to the company I work for.

The point of this site is unabashed self-promotion, which I have learned is the key to success in the business world. Long and hard experience has taught me that the quality of our wines is unimportant -- it is my ability to network and promote myself that matters most in the business world. Image and illusion are all that matters and our customers feel reassured to know they are buying wine from an important personality who has his own web site.

Most of this site is true, but some of it is fictional. I often forget which part is which. Everyone in the wine trade takes themselves so seriously that I am trying to bring a little perspective and humor into what should be a joyous trade. By the way, my lawyer suggested I include this paragraph.

The site is organized by chronological posts in descending order. There are several posts on each page and you can go to earlier posts by scrolling to the bottom of the page and clicking on older posts. This is a very user-friendly feature.





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The Art of Wine Tasting

Click to Read An Exciting Exposé of The Three Tier Schnook System!

Clicking Here Takes You to A Breathtaking Minute-by-Minute Account of a Glamorous Day in the Life of The Wine Importer!

Click Here to Speed to the Non-Fictional Louis/Dressner Selections Website

My Friend André Iché, An Appreciation

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Vinexpo Summary -- Kudos and Hats Off to Luis Gutierrez


I have just returned from Vinexpo and am writing this from the Dressner Family Compound in Poil Rouge. I learned many interesting things in Bordeaux:

1. American Importers are Now Required to Wear Star of David badges at all Vinexpo events.

2. A man who resembles André Ostertag has opened a shop in Strasbourg featuring Hungarian Tokaj. His only saleswoman is France's Miss Gastronomie of 1997.

3. The International Wine Industry is dominated by Dutchmen wearing bowties and no socks.

4. There is not a single grower, négociant or cooperative in the Côtes-du-Provençe who uses sulphur.

5. Bordeaux prices are going up.

6. 1999 was a difficult year in Côte-du-Bourg and everyone's neighbor failed to properly treat their vineyards.

7.There is conclusive evidence that red wine consumption leads to immortality.

8. Wacky Internet Wine Personality VS (WIWP) owns a pied-à-terre in the Bronx.

9. Southcorp has bought Mondavi. Or Mondavi has bought Southcorp. Either way, there is much talk about Globalisation and Globalization.

10. Robert Parker yields great power over the Wine Industry.

11. Marvin Shanken yields great power over the Wine Industry.

12. Some 22-year-old kid named Yixin yields great power over the British Wine Industry. He plans on going international.

13. Jean-Paul Brun made lovely Gamay in 2000.

14. Luis Gutierrez has generously given me three bottles of Cornalin - 1999 Cornalin de Salquenen from Franz-Josef Mather, 1998 Cornalin de Sierre from Denis Mercier and 1998 La Chaille Cornalin from Imesch Vins. I will be returning to New York with these bottles on August 31st and they will be available for a Jeebus. By the way, Luis is either the former winemaker at Vega Sicilia or yet another Wacky Internet Wine Personality (WIWP). I'm not certain.

15. There is a world-wide international web conspiracy of wine geeks that yields even greater power then Robert Parker and Marvin Shaken. Yixin is reputed to be a part of this conspiracy.

16. Thank goodness for this conspiracy and all my thanks to Luis, André Ostertag's double, João Roseira, Mike Bassman, Wine Gurus Catherine and Pierre Breton, André and Colette Texier (parents of Internet Cult Wine Maker Eric Texier and my hosts during this grueling event), Mike Bassman, José Roseira, Anne-Claude Leflaive, Catherine Roussel, Internet Gamay Cult Winemaker Jean-Paul Brun and finally Internet Cult Rhône Winemaker Eric Texier for making Vinexpo an enjoyable event.

17. Louis/Dressner Selections will have a major announcement concerning our firm's involvement in Portugal sometime in the next 5 months.

18. Michel Rolland is extremely likeable and a Freemason.

I expect to be leaving endless spam on this site about the fabulous wines I found at Vinexpo (principally at Satellite tastings outside of the exposition) and will be posting more information here in the hope of getting some suckers to buy some of these wines. My apologies for being absent from these pages over the past 10 days.


- Joe Dressner 6-22-2001 10:16 pm [link] [2 refs] [add a comment]

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