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My Friend André Iché, An Appreciation
CaptainTumorMan.com is Up and Running!
There's a lot of great new content over there at our sister site.
Don't miss it!
CaptainTumorMan!
Coming Soon on CaptainTumorMan.COM
The new blog is almost up.
The first installment will discuss how spending the past 25 years in the vineyards calms me and gives me a sense of faith and peace while I face this crisis with a brain tumor.
The second installment will be an exposé of how my brother, Ira Dressner, sells fake medical instruments under the guise that he is a medical doctor with expertise. In fact, he sells tags, bags and mannequins in New York's garment center.
The third installment will be a wine/radiation pairing, finding the perfect wine for various intense levels of radiation treatment. Do natural wines tastes better, even though the treatment itself is thoroughly unnatural?
The fourth installment will be an exposé of my cousin Dr. Barbara Hirsch, a very important Great Neck Endocrinologist, who was raised and nurtured by my parents. Dr. Hirsch waited until my father was near death and my mother was suffering from a rare neuromuscular disorder, to write them a seven page letter denouncing them for being horrible to her for the entirety of her life! Despite my concerns, Dr. Hirsch still refuses to apologize.
Don't miss these exciting installments of:
Captain Tumor Man
Get Ready for My New Blog!
That's right!!!!!
www.captaintumorman.com
My wacky older brother Ira Dressner, one of the crazy characters who will be featured on Captain Tumor Man, along with a series of self-entitled Long Island Endocrinologists who get comped free dinners at famous restaurants around the world!
This lively and provocative blog will both recount my personal struggle with a brain tumor, allow me to explore the relationship of wine to cancer, and give me a venue to pursue petty vendettas against relatives, acquaintances and people in the wine trade.
Having a Brain Tumor has its privileges!
Don''t miss this new complementary site!
Health Inquiries -- Moving a Mountain
Old Man Moves a Mountain
By Lie Zi
Tatxmg and Wangwu are two mountains with an area of seven hundred li square and rise to a great height of thousands of ren. They were originally situated south of Jizhou and north of Heyang.
North of the mountains lived an old man called Yugong (literally 'foolish old man') who was nearly ninety years old. Since his home faced the two mountains, he was troubled by the fact that they blocked the way of the inhabitants who had to take a roundabout route whenever they went out. He gathered his family together to discuss the matter.
"Let us do everything in our power to flatten these forbidding mountains so that there is a direct route to the south of Yuzhou reaching the southern bank of the Han River. What do you say?" Everyone applauded his suggestion.
His wife voiced her doubts. "You are not strong enough even to remove a small hillock like Kuifu. How can you tackle TaTxmg and Wangwu? And where would you dump the earth and rocks?"
"We can dump it into the edge of the Bo Sea and north of Yintu," said everyone.
Therefore Yugong took with him three sons and grandsons who could carry a load on their shoulders. They broke up rocks and dug up mounds of earth which were transported to the edge of the Bo Sea in baskets. His neighbour, a widow by the name of Jingcheng, had a posthumous son who was just at the age of discarding his silk teeth. This vivacious boy jumped at the chance of giving them a hand. From winter through summer the workers only returned home once.
An old man called Zhisou (literally 'wise old man') who lived in Hequ, near a bend of the Yellow River, was amused and dissuaded Yugong.
"How can you be so foolish? With your advanced years and the little strength that you have left, you cannot even destroy a blade of grass on the mountain, not to speak of its earth and stone."
Yugong from north of the mountains heaved a long sigh. "You are so obstinate that you do not use your reason. Even the widow and her little son do better than you. Though I die, my son lives on. My son produces a grandson and in turn the grandson has a son of his own. Sons follow sons and grandsons follow sons. My sons and grandsons go on and on without end but the mountains will not grow in size. Then why worry about not being able to flatten them?" Zhisou of Hequ was bereft of speech.
The god of the mountains who held a snake in his hand heard about this and was afraid that Yugong would not stop digging at the mountains. He reported the matter to the king of the gods who was moved by Yugong's sincerity. The king commanded the two sons of Kua'eshi, a god with great strength, to carry away the two mountains on their backs: one was put east of Shuozhou and the other south of Yongzhou. From that time onwards no mountain stood between the south of Jizhou and the southern bank of the Han River.
-Lie Zi, Han Dynasty
It's Not Over Until the Manitobans Come Home with All the Fish!
There's an old Dressner family saying: It's Not Over Until the Manitobans Come Home with All the Fish!
Many readers have been sending me notes about my health. I am still taking tests but it does appear my brain has an abnormal mass of tissue that is not inflammatory, arising from cells of pre-existent tissues, and which is serving no useful purpose. In fact, this totally useless tissue has weakened my right leg, made me walk with a cane, and only allows facial hair to grow on the left side of my face.
Doctors are working around-the-clock on my case. Though I will not have a Twitter Feed, I will have more news by early December. I'll let you all know.
Thanks for all your concern. I'm feeling great otherwise and enjoying this totally new experience as much as I can. Every new life experience brings lots of wonderful new comic material and I plan to make the most of what is coming my way.